I don't know if this is in the book and I don't really care. I think you should take the very next opportunity to tell her you don't want a divorce and that you'd really like to try to work things out. Ask her if she'd be willing to put it off for six months, just to make absolutely certain, and if at the end of six months she thought she still wanted to go through with it, then you all can proceed from there.
It's a huge risk for you in terms of potential pain, but... I don't know. If she doesn't know how to back out of it and save face, it might be the solution she's looking for.
Corri
I don't know Corri. I'm not sure about that. Not because the book said not to but I don't think I would trust her all that much. Last May when when she said she wanted a D. I laid it out for her. A few days later, my brother and SIL kept the kids for a few days for us to "work" things out. Part of our plan was to work on things and see where we were in May 2004. She also demanded mandatory dates starting in June. Well this didn't happen. In July, as quick as the kids were out of town, she began to go out with her Sams buddies. Rather than talk about things, she would jump at the chance to go walking with the lady down the street. She would use valuable talk time hanging with her rather than me. Long story short, the 8-15 mess happened. She decided she wanted a D by the end of the year. Then, the mess happened a couple weeks ago and she decided she can't wait that long and filed right then. I don't think I can take her at her word.
Earlier today, she invited herself to an affair at her sister's place. She came back less than 1/2 hour later because her sister told her not to come. She came in complaining about that. To be honest, I didn't care to hear it. She had a 'tude when I left. I just got back to find that she left "for a minute." She didn't bother to round one of the kids up and make sure she was back in. She just left. Perhaps to see the cart boy. Let him help with Christmas this year. Let him burn days off to run the kids to doctor appointments so she can save her days. When her breast situation goes worse because she's too dumb to get it checked, will he help nurse her and take care of the kids. No. Once he can't grip that hooter, he'll be gone. Let that nosey cop buddy of hers come help her. Will he go to the programs she can't attend? Will either of them take time off from work to eat lunch with them because they ask all the time. Will either of them spend major time with them while she's working all the time or doing whatever it is she's doing. He!! now they won't.
I know this doesn't have anything to do with what you said. I guess I'm just venting. I don't like her much today. Earlier, she asked me if I could help her with her layaways. I told her I didn't know this year as I have legal fees. Her reply was you don't have to "help me with my kids. You never do." Well here is an instance of her changing history. For the past 8 out of 9 years, I have helped her with Christmas. Prior to us living together, it was nothing for me to hand her $400 or more dollars. That doesn't count any other assitance. I told her I didn't appreciate that. She then said will since we were married you haven't. Well that's crap too. The year before, I was tight because of her money crap and really couldn't help. I guess she forgot that last year, I maxed out a credit card to get the kids Christmas. A card she was supposed to kick in on but never has. I'm kind of hot right now and she can jump off a bridge for all I care. Right Now!! I'm venting here because it beats venting to family and friends who are now saying I told you so. Sorry for the rage.
Maybe, I'll feel better later. Then, I will think of a face saving way for her to stand down. But right now....
