I def need to do exactly that. Moments of weekness I guess. Trying to stay in the DB mindset.
The X has come and gone already. Several times as a matter of fact. How many times do the WASs do this? Many times apparently, but how many? Until when? Till they are comfortable with you, the situation? What have you seen?
Went to drop off the D at the X's house on Sunday afternoon. Like GIMA said, don't get to caught up in how the X is doing, bc she will revert back. She did just that all in the next day.
As I took my D up her mom's house, X came to door and I began hugging and kissing my D goodbye. I guess I do get kind of caught up on doing that bc I love my D. After a minute or so, while the X was waiting in the doorway, she said she needed to close the door bc the mosquitos were getting in.
In other words, I need to close the door and you need to leave. No come on in, she was not coming out. Just hurry, so I can close the door. I hugged and kissed my D one more time and told her I loved her. So she went in the house and I went home.
This was not the most polite circumstances on the part of the X. Again, I won't allow the X's behavior dictate my behavior.
This was not the most polite circumstances on the part of the X. Again, I won't allow the X's behavior dictate my behavior.
And in that exchange that's all that mattered. Good for you.
Yep. 2B, Gardener is right. Just expect her to pull back after a particularly good time. They get scared by feeling what they do not think they will feel again. It may even make them angry that you are only just now being what they needed before.
It is a few days b4 Halloween and doing all I can to continue to detach. Haven't spoken to X since I dropped off D on Sunday. We still don't have a game plan for Halloween. X mentioned she wanted to get my D together with one of her friend's son about the same age. I am sure that would be to the exclusion of me.
Thank goodness this is my weekend to have my D, so X will have to coordinate more with me than me with her (for a chg). We will see how she handles it. Hope to discuss soon, bc I would like to make some plans otherwise with my D to visit with some of my friends who have children.
These are the times where I miss having a united family and what it could be. We could be enjoying each other and everyone having a great time. Due to the separation we must share time with D and work around that time.
I keep working on myself learning and growing (I hope). I saw a recent program called stinkingthinking and it is all about thinking the wrong things.. so i will try to stay out of that.
X sent me or included me in on an email to my personal acct to donate for a run she is in. She must have sent it to everybody bc she would not normally send me anything like that.
X also sent an email to my work asking if we had still planned on going to a church activity this weekend. She looked on their webpage and saw that it was to be cancelled this year. I replied guess not. Looks like we will have to go with Plan B. She responds what is plan B. Told her might go with friends and thinking about getting a couple of pumpkins my D could paint on. Asked her if she had any ideas. X replied she and her friend were going to research tonight and see what they could do bc they wanted to get the kids together. Still no mention of me in there. So funny. Where is she going with all this?
I am detached bc she has pretty much hurt me as well and I don't really trust her at this point. Things are still unresolved in court, unless I just say you take whatever and forego any concern I have. That is what she seems to want.
X emailed me today towards the end of the day a couple of halloween options for Sat afternoon. I took a look at them and after about an hour or so I sent her back an email mentioning I thought our D would enjoy both of them. We will see what she comes back with.
Never a mention about us doing something together. It has been said she and her friend would like to get the kids together to do something. I guess bc she is including me in on the happenings she is thinking I would go also, but never clairification of such.
Because we are attempting to detach, I have not even asked if this is including me. This would be the first time of me interacting with her friend since the X and I split a cpl of yrs ago. And when we did split the X went back and told her all confidential statements I had said that was not so positive about her friend. So to say the least her friend was not so much on my side.
Hope this is a good sign that she is attempting to do something together. How should I respond? How should I be acting? excited about it? Like I could take it or leave it? I can guess on how to act, but I think that is why to a certain extent where we are today. Any advise is much appreciated.
Still trying to detach I did not attempt contact with X today about Halloween options or me getting my D. It has been pouring down raining all day long and continued when I went to pick up D. X's mom asked if I would come in and wait on X till she made it home bc she got tied up in traffic. I agreed.
As previously mentioned I get very uncomfortable when they let me in the house bc they usually do not. So I go in, my D is showing me all her toys and having a blast with her Dad in there. I wait about 15 minutes and the X arrives. X asks me about Halloween and what I wanted to do. I just calmly said whatever.
She tells me she has a run in the morning and will call me afterwards and then we can hang for a few hours and then she has a hair appointment. Wow..
It just makes me feel like she does not have a priority on wanting to spend time even with her D. She is all about herself. She wants to run, get her hair done and do what is best for her. I feel like I try to spend as much time with my D as I can and even give up doing a lot of things just to spend time with her. It really makes me sad..
I wanted to call the X and talk, but I guess it is not the best thing to do, so I resisted and text other friends. I really want a significant other at this stage while hanging with my D. The X does not want to be it, but I don't really want other women around daughter too soon. I don't have much time outside of having my D. What a quandry... What to do? What to do?
So, if you want to date, then date (I recall you are not M'd). You don't have to do that around your D, certainly not at first. I would be careful about bringing in a new woman around your D until you feel pretty solid about the R.
So, if your X doesn't want to do things with your D, then take the initiative and do that yourself. Your D will love the time with you. And you will love being with her.
If X wants to be selfish, then there's your chance for more time with D. Make it happen.
Not M'd. I do date, but I am with my D alot on my weekends. I work one weekend where going out is not so much an option. That leaves me maybe one additional weekend. I feel like this weekend I have my D and I really want to be with her, but I feel like a girl would not be able to appreciate what you are doing to spend time with your D to their exclusion especially on a holiday or a time when they would want to get out and do something. I feel like they want someone to date them, court them.
Pitty party for myself I guess. how long do you date b4 you bring a girl around the D? I was thinking a yr would be great, but that is a long time considering this situation.
