Sorry you're having an unhappy anniversary. You have had some recent twists and turns in your situation. It must be very confusing to balance what is happening at home with all of the different feedback you are getting here.
Have you considered talking to a DB coach? I have worked with Jody over the past year and her advice has given me the best results of ANY friend or family member with whom I've confided. She has years of experience and is the BEST therapist I have ever worked with. Coaching is something you may want to consider.
Right now, my plan is to work on letting go of any anger and resentment I have. Continue to lovingly detach. I also want to keep the ball rolling on being more open and honest with my W.
I am already dead, so I have nothing to lose. If W will not work on the M, I don't think I have much choice on what I have to do. I don't want that result, but she may not leave any other option.
I think I will continue to develop compassion for my W. I don't like what she's doing right now, but I also realize she' was in a pretty dark place as well.
BTW, one session with a DB Coach (for you) can't hurt.
That's a good idea, Gima. I'd do it. And while I spoke with Dottie and was satisfied, I must say I've read more praise for Jody on this site than anyone else.
Compassion: nsympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings and misfortunes of others.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Thanks. I have a C - he is the one who actually turned me on to DB.
I don't know where I would be without everyone here. I know I wouldn't be in as good a place as I am now.
Today has been lonely. Not that I have been by myself. Just lonely. Did a great deal of thinking. My lonliness is probably a combination of this being our anniversary and the day my dad died. It is what it is.
I know I'll bounce back. Just feeling a bit emotional today. And, that's ok for a day.
Today has been lonely. Not that I have been by myself. Just lonely. Did a great deal of thinking. My lonliness is probably a combination of this being our anniversary and the day my dad died. It is what it is
Well, hell, if that doesn't cover you all up in funk I don't know what would. Thoughts and prayers for you on this double-dose day.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Thanks buddy. This too shall pass. Just in a dark cloud today. But, I don't plan on being in it tomorrow. Not going to be surprised if there is some rain tonight.
Hang in there brother, I feel your emotions in what you write...
let them flow through... Breathe.....
If I could hug you I would, you stuck in my sitch when not many did, and I'll try and stick bye in yours.
You will make it, no matter what the circumstance.
You'll love your W, but what does GIMA want right now beyond that for himself? Focus on what you can do by yourself to make your life what you want, whomever is in it.
I'll pray for you, as well as many others here...
You'll perservere, bercause its what GIMA does..
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
Thanks IWITW. Not terribly uplifting, but, unfortunately, necessary.
I will be fine. I know that.
We had a football game for S tonight. W was her normal, happy self. One of our married femal friends came and sat with us a little while and looked at me and said "You look great!" "Thank you." Dropped about 20 lbs right after the bomb in April, and I think I'm back on that weight loss program again. Stomach was in knots all day. Not carrying that forward tomorrow.
I didn't have the strength to discuss us tonight. Probably better to give her a day or two to think about all we discussed last night. Pretty heavy stuff. And emotionally exhausting. Felt wrung out all day.
