Newbie with almost WAW - Need Advice

[sandi2]

The main reason I can't leave her is because I am not willing to leave our house when this is her A.

That is not the main reason you aren't leaving her. The main reason is b/c you are afraid of losing her.

She did say that before I confronted her about the A that she had the apartment lease papers but had not signed them because she was confused over the positive feelings she had but that after our "talk", she didn't see anyway this could be worked out now.

Can you try to step outside of this for a minute and take another look at this statement. This is so common for a WAW. She is playing games with you. She is saying, "Well, before you messed up, I was thinking about staying, but now I doubt I will"........ppplease! She is pulling the strings and expecting you to be the puppet!

I could leave her on an emotional level if she were to stay here and continue A.

Can you explain that to me?

I am pretty sure that she does not have any intention of ending it anytime soon at this point because after confronting her, I would have expected some sort of apology or acknowledgment of guilt by now if she did.

Just b/c you confronted her did not cause her to feel that she should apologize to you. Remember, she has the mindset of a WAW and it is very different in how you think.

What I do know is that she has changed her phone lock code (saw her enter it last night and it was not the same). Based on this, I would say she still intends to pursue A.

So, my question goes back to why you cannot leave her. Does it matter if she is in the house or an apartment to have her A?

I really do not see her as being in MLC, but that is JMHO. She is certainly a WAW, though. To be honest, I think she got bored and turned off in the MR and wants to see a man with some "action". I know what it is like to have depression. But it is very hard on the S of those that are depressed and based on what you've said, I get the feeling that she needs to see you do something that makes a powerful statement. I don't know that I can explain this very well, but you leaving her should be a wakeup call to her. Instead of you looking passive, it would cause you to take on a point of action in your life. You are taking control.....and I think she needs to see that. What I see in your posts is a man who is waiting around for his WW to decide which man she wants........and that is pathetic. Are you going to sit and wait until she is finished with her A--and then be available in case she might want you? That is not attractive!