Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Do you have any family who can help you watch the kids if you get in another jam at work, til you get that arrangement legalized?

I have a cousin who babysat them when they were little who has helped me out on one occasion. My parents have been gone for more than 10 years.

Really, I'm in a decent spot now that I set down a boundary. I will help if I can. If I can't, I can't. I told her it's illegal to leave either one of them home alone for the day (in Illinois, you can't leave anyone under 14 alone for an unreasonable amount of time). That was meant to shake her up a bit -- show that I'm watching in case she skirts her responsibility.

Really, my best hope once we get down to D negotiations is that we get 50/50 living arrangements and a much smaller child support payment.

Of course, she REALLY needs the money right now while she's in our old house. There's no chance she can sell it until next year and very little chance we'll make anything off of it.

She's hurting financially -- she gives hints -- but she's showing me she'll soldier on bravely. She's also still living in la-la land. She's told D10 that they'll just buy a smaller house to fit their needs after ours sells.

She won't be able to do it without a down payment and she's never been able to save a dime, much less the $3,000 she'd need.

Her mother may be able to step in and help there, but it'd be tough. We've been helping her make her real estate payments the past two years.

I know it's going to be an emotional jolt when she files, but right now the clinical side of me is interested to see how it works out. It's like watching an execution. It's scary but you want to see just how they put the needles in.