"I think the point to me is you need to have some break time from your son. It's good for you to have time when you're not just working and caring for others like it sounds you do 24/7. If Gabe drops him off at a friend's house or hires a babysitter and goes out, as long as your ds is safe then I wouldn't worry. You can't make your X be a good dad or parent the way you (most) would like. And I think it's good for kids to see both parents (I mean unless they have mental issues or addiction or something) and good for your X to have the responsibility of a day or two taking care of his own son."
PRECISELY.
"Yes, I care for everyone but myself so when I take time for myself (like tonight) I feel horribly guilty. I feel rotten for not going to the hospital tonight after work to sit with mom. She's lonely and sick and I'm leaving her there on her own. It just doesn't feel right. I'm all she has."
IF YOU WANT TO FEEL GUILTY, feel guilty about not taking better care of yourself and making yourself more of a priority. THAT is what is best for your loved ones -- martyrdom is unhealthy and not really good for anyone. It is selfish to choose that path. So, listen to Michelle Obama, and make a good life that makes you happy -- it is best for you and your family.
