So, Gabe basically spent a total of 9 waking hours with his son. The point is? I fought so hard to get him to spend the weekend with him for what?
I think the point to me is you need to have some break time from your son. It's good for you to have time when you're not just working and caring for others like it sounds you do 24/7. If Gabe drops him off at a friend's house or hires a babysitter and goes out, as long as your ds is safe then I wouldn't worry. You can't make your X be a good dad or parent the way you (most) would like. And I think it's good for kids to see both parents (I mean unless they have mental issues or addiction or something) and good for your X to have the responsibility of a day or two taking care of his own son.
LOL! I was too slow on that one. Frankly, I love this mystery thing with him but it grates on my nerves.
I'm sure I've said it before, but my bff's mom is one of the head ushers at Philips Arena in Atlanta so when shows come there she can usually get tickets for them and then she upgrades us. She is so sweet!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
See this is where you tell him as said, "no, not mom, going out tonight".
Then a few minutes later: "hey, babe, can't wait to see you tonight, wait til you see what I'm wearing"
let it fester a bit. If he replies great, if not, even better, just simply "oh sorry, I was texting someone else when you bothered me with your non-sense"
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
Mish, I am SO glad for you about tonight. It sucks about your mom, but if they found an infection, then antibiotics should help clear it up (better to know than not know). Have you set up an appt with the social worker to talk about discharge, yet?
OMG DYLAN! I snorted out loud on that one! That would have been brilliant and SO not like me!
Karen, you are right, it is about me having a break, but I just don't have it in me to fight with him like this every time it's 'his' weekend to convince him he needs to come get him. Marc says he doesn't want to and Gabe just lets it go at that. If I make Marc go, then I'm the bad guy in both of their eyes. Sucks!
Yes, I care for everyone but myself so when I take time for myself (like tonight) I feel horribly guilty. I feel rotten for not going to the hospital tonight after work to sit with mom. She's lonely and sick and I'm leaving her there on her own. It just doesn't feel right. I'm all she has.
Donna, the social worker will be in to see mom upon discharge to arrange physical therapy for her. They set up a telephone conference to discuss home health care options. I hope they come up with something that is manageable.
How is Marc doing in school? Hmmmm.....let's see......F's in every class except Health and Social Skills. Isn' that wonderful? He is so darned smart but he has no organizational ability and just blows off all homework and won't study for tests. His teachers send me his assignments (when they think of it) but he won't bring home what he needs to get the work done. I need to schedule a meeting with is counselor but with mom's issues I haven't been able to get the time yet.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
She also has all those people who remind you to wish her well on your FB page...I hope that if family or friends ask if they can help, you TAKE THEM UP on it! It actually makes others feel really good to have something concrete they can do to show how much they care.... Have fun later!
"I think the point to me is you need to have some break time from your son. It's good for you to have time when you're not just working and caring for others like it sounds you do 24/7. If Gabe drops him off at a friend's house or hires a babysitter and goes out, as long as your ds is safe then I wouldn't worry. You can't make your X be a good dad or parent the way you (most) would like. And I think it's good for kids to see both parents (I mean unless they have mental issues or addiction or something) and good for your X to have the responsibility of a day or two taking care of his own son."
PRECISELY.
"Yes, I care for everyone but myself so when I take time for myself (like tonight) I feel horribly guilty. I feel rotten for not going to the hospital tonight after work to sit with mom. She's lonely and sick and I'm leaving her there on her own. It just doesn't feel right. I'm all she has."
IF YOU WANT TO FEEL GUILTY, feel guilty about not taking better care of yourself and making yourself more of a priority. THAT is what is best for your loved ones -- martyrdom is unhealthy and not really good for anyone. It is selfish to choose that path. So, listen to Michelle Obama, and make a good life that makes you happy -- it is best for you and your family.
Concert was AWESOME! What a spectacle! I posted a few pics on my FB page from my cell phone, but I'll post more from my camera as soon as I can upload them. CRAZY! I'm partially deaf now. My bff and I took her 14 year old son and 3 of his friends with us. We were upgraded to the club level with an awesome view. It was great!
OT - I don't want to feel guilty, but it just happens. I'm going to have to mention to my C tomorrow (or later today as the case may be) and see why I let myself get this way. I guess I've always been told that the only priority in life is caring for others and that you should always come second or even third or fourth to everyone else. Anything less than that is selfish and wrong. My mother is this way, my grandmother was this way, but they were happy women for the most part. So, why can't I be happy just doing for others? Yes, if I'm healthy mentally and physically then I'm no good to anyone, but it seems that the times I can do something good for myself are also the times that I need to be doing for someone else. UGH! Too much to work through at this hour of the night!
Heading to bed and will be hearing "Detroit Rock City" in my sleep!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
He is so darned smart but he has no organizational ability and just blows off all homework and won't study for tests. His teachers send me his assignments (when they think of it) but he won't bring home what he needs to get the work done. I need to schedule a meeting with is counselor but with mom's issues I haven't been able to get the time yet.