Blackie, I don't know what to say about your wife. I don't want to give you false hope but at the same time, I feel that I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that I said the SAME things that she has said, once we started to patch things up.
I could not stand to have him see me naked. I told him not to give me compliments. All of this was true, but at the same time I did not want him to stop. What I wanted was to go back in time to a nicer place in our relationship where I had never been damaged so much in the first place. Once it got to that point, I couldn't stand to hear the words or see the appreciative glances...too little, too late it seemed. I thought, How sincere can it be when it only comes after I freak out and threaten to end the marriage??
My H has been very consistent with his message (and behavior) and has really turned our relationship around. So it CAN be done. He is amazing and I know you are too. Again, I don't want to give you false hope but I want to put this side of the story out there, too, to perhaps counter all of the horror stories that you are no doubt hearing these days from friends and family.
If I were you I would calmly, and as detached as you can be, tell her that you will follow along with her wishes and not give the appreciative looks and words, but that she can't stop you from FEELING that..because that is involuntary. I wouldn't stop cold turkey because she will interpret that as you only doing it because you were trying to stop her from walking out the door. Make sure she knows that you WANT to be acting on your desires, but that you want to follow her wishes even more because you are a kind and respectful person.
Hugs,
Honey
P.S. Don't get anything waxed or I will have to stop being your friend. That is going over the line. LOLOL
