I know I need to stop what I have been doing - it's only pushing my wife out the door faster. My major backpedalling pushed the move out date up 6 months.

I am trying to find something in me, to allow me to worthy of honor and respect. I am thinking I need professional help to do so. I really will try the rubber band idea.

So stop. Take a break. Take a weekend off. Go away for 2 days. Ontario is rather nice this time of year. Or go on a road trip with a buddy and hit a hockey game in another city. AHL , OHL , NHL does not matter. CFL even... wink

Give your kids and wife some time off from you. And give yourself some time off.

2 days is not going to change anything. But it will allow to recharge.
Then when you come back. Go get this help that you mention. You really need to get some help. Go back to square one. If your going to detach and move on. Do it with love. Reread your entire thread and the advice that was given. And your actions and results.

But I truely believe you need to detach from yourself for awhile. Your just killing yourself right now with your confusion. So stop doing that. Recharge.