Great ideas D Money...but I was 18 when we started dating and totally a child, married him when I was barley 21!! I think the first thing that attracted him to me was who I was...that is hard to explain, but lets just say my Dad was well-known and everyone on campus knew who I was, just by my last name. Anyway, I really was nothing like I think he would want me to be now. And, it makes me upset that is the reason he pursued me, as I hate that someone would like me for that reason, but it was always a problem. He was just better at hiding it than most. I can't even imagine being like I was then, but I will try to think of positive things from that time and see what I can come up with. I was a huge flirt and tease...he can't see that even if I wanted him to since he is 700 miles away.
But, I am excited about something...we talked tonight and he told me he is going to go to counseling starting next week!! I just pray that it is the right therapist that is well versed in MLC's!! I felt so good about how I was on the phone with him, I am very proud and it felt so good whether it works with him, I don't care, it is about me, and I felt the change in how I was and that is all that matters.
I am so glad your D12 is doing better. And, it sounds like regardless of feeling like you want to throw-up (been there!!), you handle it well. Do you find yourself acting like you did when you were dating? And, do you see any reaction to this? You sound so upbeat on here too, you are doing really great!!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
Hi D, Hope S12 is feeling OK! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
Thanks K, S12 is doing better. My girls got it late in the week but they are on the upswing.
D9 started coming down with it on Wednesday so my wife brought the kids to my house because she knew my Mom could stay with D9 during the day on thursday. I assumed it was so she could go out but when she came over she said she was tired and was going to go to bed when she got back home. I told her that she always looks tired when I see her and she says that she's always tired on Wednesdays because she goes out Tuesday nights. Of course she said this with a sheepish look on her face like she was embarrassed by it.
I texted her on thursday to let her know how the girls were doing and she responded by saying that she wish she could take care of them and she felt as if she was failing. From bits of info she's given me during conversation, it seems as though she spends a lot of time alone at home.
wish she could take care of them and she felt as if she was failing. From bits of info she's given me during conversation, it seems as though she spends a lot of time alone at home.
Wow...
That's insightful.
That flash of guilt usually doesn't happen so soon.
Not that you should put any stock in it...it doesn't mean that this wiil be a quickler or shorter ride...so get that out of your pretty head or I'll have trapt braid your hair. : )
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
wish she could take care of them and she felt as if she was failing. From bits of info she's given me during conversation, it seems as though she spends a lot of time alone at home.
Wow...
That's insightful.
That flash of guilt usually doesn't happen so soon.
Not that you should put any stock in it...it doesn't mean that this wiil be a quickler or shorter ride...so get that out of your pretty head or I'll have trapt braid your hair. : )
Oh... I read your Quick fix magic bullet thread and thought I had it.
How are you and your children doing? Hope all is well. I saw that your Canes lost this weekend. My Noles won on Thursday night. So, I am happy.
I wanted to ask you a question or two about your sitch. You said you did not see your wife for 4 months. Did she not see your girls for that same amount of time? Also, is she helping you financially with the girls?
Yeah I watched your Noles win. Actually most times I do root for them, unless of course they're playing my Canes.
She still took the kids when I wasn't having contact with her. We each have 2 days during the week that we have the kids and then we alternate weekends. I would take them to her place and stay in the car. We wouldn't see each other although there were times I knew she was watching out the window when i dropped them off based on things she texted me right after I would leave.
Now if I go to her place to pick up or drop off kids I end up going inside and talking for an hour.
By late July S12 was sick of her anger (mostly directed towards him) and decided he wasn't going to her place any longer.
As far as financially, no she does not give me money outright. We discuss what the kids need and who can afford what and go from there. She's done real well in this area. At the time she equated buying stuff for the kids with making them happy so she was always buying stuff for them. Now it's more necessaties and we split that fairly even. Since things are friendly between us now it gives me a chance to practice my communication skills with her.
When she left I think she had this fantasy in her head that we would just go our separate ways and lead mutually exclusive lives. It would get to the point that she would buy the kids clothes and shoes that she would say they couldn't bring to my house. It was like they were to have a wardrobe for my house and one for hers. She tried to separate it that much. I of course didn't care what clothes they wore where so I allowed them to wear stuff I bought for them to her place. Eventually I think it got too much for her to try and enforce that she gave it up. It was like in her mind the split between us was going to be nice and neat. That's why I was really curious to see what would happen if she did carry through with the divorce because it would have been a rude awakening for as to what reality is.
I feel the same about my WAS. It seemed like we were competing against each other. If she saw that I bought our son a toy, she would do the same.
It was so childish. I had to stop once I realized what she was doing.
Nice to see you root for my Noles. As long as you don't cheer for the Gators, we can be friends.
By the way, I watch the Canes sometimes. I cheer for them in bowl games. I hope that both programs can reach the elite level soon. When both programs were at their peaks, that was some awesome football they played against each other.
