Can I save my marriage?

[ClingingToHope]

So it has given me these great expectations, and now i'm in trouble cause I'm living because of them. I was doing so well, obviously making changes and they were lasting and I felt good about it. And I felt good that my H was noticing but now that he has given me that little bit, i'm stuck again. Back to analyzing, and wishing and wanting...

My wife asked me to move out on mother's day. In the time I've been out, we had one good R talk where I was able to cut through the fog. Even in that conversation she said she felt happier without me -- more in control.

Still, I asked her what was next and she said she wanted to call me once a week on her lunch break so she wasn't around the kids to talk.

I was ecstatic. It gave me real hope again. Then a week went by. No call. I asked if she was going to call. She said the next week. The next week, no call. Finally three weeks ago I asked her what happened to the calls.

She said she only said that that day to get me off the phone and in the interim she'd seen an attorney and would have filed for D if she had the retainer.

I'd been banking on the fact that at least things weren't getting worse so they must be getting better.

Hearing that knocked me back to square one. It was the fourth R talk we've had where she cold-heartedly rejected any suggestion of seeing a C.

It hurt that day but since, I've made huge strides.

* I'm trying to look at her as the caretaker of my kids who has lots of issues she'll need to deal with eventually.

* I moved forward on retaining an attorney.

* Last week when she called to talk about the kids and then transitioned into talking about D I didn't flinch or beg or plead. I told her she should look into a couple of different, less expensive options.

* Last week when she demanded I take the next day off when our daughters were sick, I told her she couldn't make demands of me. She is the primary caregiver and I'm paying her child support so they are her responsibility. I'll help as much as I can but I couldn't that day.

Long post to bring up the point. Don't get sucked in emotionally by the baby steps. Keep going which what you are doing and make them fully commit to you.