I read a book after I moved out, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolles. It was about staying in the moment. Another chapter, though, was on relationships. His point is that many, many people don't actually love their spouse, they are addicted to being in a relationship.
I've been trying to figure that out. Do I really love my W or do I love the family unit, knowing I don't need to make plans every weekend, having someone to talk to -- no matter how cold she was -- at the end of the day?
Think about that. Is it the family ideal you miss or the actual person?
I have that audio book. It's good stuff.
Well, it's coming up on 22 months since the bomb, 14 months since she moved out because she was having an affair with OM. I don't remember what it was like to be a 'family unit' with her. I just remember her smile sometimes. I don't see her very often any more. It's better that way.
I think I still love her, the 'her' that lives in my memory. Not the one I see now. She's not a bad person, just lost.
