Emergency Hijack! If you haven't already, check in, read up on SpyBunny at Counseling Conundrums. She is in a horrendously mental/emotional abusive marriage and needs more voices telling her what she needs to hear and do! Dia,Coach, Gima, Greek, anybody, please.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I'm heading off to my S' football game, with my wedding band on. Don't know what's going to be waiting on me tonight.
If I have realized anything over the last day or so, with the help of some very good friends, is that I DO still love my W. Unofortunately, my W does not have those feelings for me right now. Maybe they can return, maybe not. But, I'm not going down without a fight.
I can't make her love me. But, she can't make me NOT love her.
Just catching up on your thread, sorry to hear about the developments. My 2 cents: don't give a card, do whatever you want with the ring (I wear mine), and don't read into anything you see in regards to "emotion" you saw when you had the talk. She is doing same stuff as my WAW did. She is emotional for purely selfish reasons. Time to put you in the #1 spot and ignore her. Remember the paradox, get deep into it accepting that it is over though internally keeping your faith/hope you can come out of it all.
I also agree with earlier comments, time to play it a bit harder. Have the talk "I prefer to work on the M but if that is not what you want, so be it. It is time for you to fine a job and a place to live. I'll help you look for these since I do care but you need to follow through. We can't make excuses on house markets any longer. It might get better, it might get worse, but this current environment for us here and now is not helping anyone."
H35 W34 S4 | T-10 yrs M-6 yrs WAW said M over 04/09 | Living separate since 09/09 Thread #1 Thread #2 Thread #3
I can take it. But, while I appreciate your opinion, it is not that simple. There is more going on than I can post. Putting my ring back on was what I think is the right thing to do right now. Right now.
I'm sorry to hear about what's been happening lately. You're a very strong and intelligent individual who provides excellent advice to the people here on this board. My question to you is this..."What advice would you be giving to a newbie on this board who just experienced what you have? What I'm saying is do what GIMA would do...if that makes sense.
Best Regards, LFH
ME: 38 W: 35 D2.5 and S5 Married 12 years Separated (same house, different rooms) INILWYAM by W: 4/16/2009 The day W requested a D: 4/17/2009