I'm reading "Controlling People". It's a good book. Unfortunately, I wanted more about how to deal with these people, but it seems the book focuses more on analyzing the controlling personality. Since your husband and mine are similar, I still suggest the read.
My C said to continue reading that it is further along in the book. Although, the reviews I read on amazon said the same thing as you.
M40, H39 M17 T20 D13, S12 H moved out 05/09 D filed 1/10