Blackie, Your wife is seriously confused. On one hand, she is wanting to go on record that you are abusive and on the other she is reading and re-reading your letter of love to her. Does she want YOU or just to soothe her own ego?
I don't know what advice to give you...going dark sounds good until you have both calmed down, at least.
Here is one final thought that I had and please understand that I have no experience with infidelity..I am just throwing out ideas to you, since you seem a bit lost right now.
I think that you communicate to your wife a lot better in writing than you do in person. That is evident from her reading that letter over and over again. I know a couple who bought a blank journal and they write back and forth to each other in it. You could buy one and tell her that you will be putting your thoughts in there and she is free to read it and/or respond if she'd like. Until then you don't really want to TALK to her about the situation because it is too charged and is not going to be pleasant.
About the kids, I agree with Johanna (I think it was her) who wrote that you should tell them that you love them and will always be their dad, no matter what else happens. They are in desperate need of some reassurance and stability right now.
