My daughter had another seizure while at school. This one didn't break for a half hour. She DID have fever to over 103 and was admitted for a day of observation. In the ER, MIL was there and STBXW was 'showing her stuff' in front of her: "the FIB family won't steamroll over us any more". "You won't do x, y and z to me anymore. On the way to the ER, I was able to disburse information to her from EMS. You see, my little sister was able to get on the ambulance with my daughter and hand the phone to EMS. When I gave the info to STBXW, she went nuts on me:"why aren't they calling ME". Then tore me a second AH about the D as I was driving to the ER. I should have hung up. She never thanked my sister who was emotionally distraught over this. At one point, when my sister offered to take S9 home with her kids, STBXW overheard on my phone and began yelling. My sister put it on speakerphone and school officials overheard. Fair? Probably not, but, they heard with disgust and surprise.
D6 was started on an anticonvulsant since she has had 3 now within 6 months. S9 had a camping trip and it was my decision that he didn't get penalized so STBXW stayed with D6 while I took S9 ( discussed this with my L prior and she agreed it was the right thing to do). D6 appears OK now. She cultured positive for strep and has a neuro follow up today.
Court
As you know, STBXW refused to agree to mutual orders of protection and pushed this through 2 adjournments/3 meetings. She HAD to have her day in court. Again, she wouldn't agree and we had a mini hearing. She spoke in front of the judge and painted me as the usual: -a liar -a 'spindoctor' -how horrible it's been to be forced to live with me -I threatened her and hovered in her face (not true) -she lives in fear (oh gawd) -that I file tit for tat
I spoke for the first time and discussed STBXW's temper....how she turnes beat red and has pinpt pupils, yada yada yada.
The judge told us how stupid this was: -that the both of you hardly frighten me -how petty this is -that someone in this court was shot yesterday and how meaningless a piece of paper is (tell me about it. We tried to agree to mutuals for 3 months now to get it over with).
He gave us 2 minutes to think it over. My L counseled me to continue to request the O of P. So....after all this...hours in court...fees...the judge ordered bilateral O of P's, the very thing STBXW refused to agree to months ago. It could have all been avoided. She, needed to have her day in court.
Of course, her father sat in the back of the courtroom. She ALWAYS has a family member there.
So, it's all done..hearings, that is.
Parenting Time
The best I can do, with STBXW's agreement, is every other weekend and 2 nights of parenting time (3-4 hours each) without a sleepover (I was initially only offered ONE). According to my L, in her 35 years experience, NO JUDGE has given the non-custodial parent a sleepover during the school year during the week. She also tell said that it is 'too disruptive' and it would end up going to trial if I insisted on this and I would most likely lose.
Vacations would be alternated and I would get 2 non consecutive one week vacations during the summer.
Pro-rata share on most else which right now, is 70/30.
STBXW will vacate the house which my L finds unprecedented ("where is she going to go? Most women retain occupancy. This is pretty much unprecedented").
The house will have to be sold and I will stay in it...the captain of a sinking ship.
I am saddened at the thought that, in all of this, I feel like the loser. Men usually are in my state. I must deal with those feelings again...of failure...and overcome.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
