It's great you didn't bite and continue the back and forth with her. She's going to see your changes. I know it must have felt good that she was pursuing you. But then it sets you up to feel more upset when she still insists on leaving.
How about telling her straight "If you are leaving, I don't want you trying to be affectionate with me or coming into my space without asking. If you want to separate, let's separate."
How about putting up that boundary to protect yourself. She won't see that ocming, and it will make her face the reality of her choices.
