WAW and 4 kids

[tryingtilDorR]

So, now that she cut off access to the phone records I am realizing that it is a way to force me to detatch further. I actually don't feel like checking that much, but it had become a daily habit and a barrier to detatching.

She knows that I don't approve of ANY communication with OM. All I was validating was that she continued to do it.

Now I can hopefully turn my focus away a little more.

After the discussion on Friday she understands that communication with him is wrong and why I have a huge issue with it. She used to say "I am not DOING anything - I am just talking". I think she still clings to that position and deep down may believe it is OK because she has less feelings for him now than before.

The big 'change' at this point is now she realizes that I know ALL the details about their communications back when EA was in full swing and she acknowledged that is why she wouldn't let me into her phone account - she was embarrassed at how bad it looked back then (Oct08-Mar09) and didn't want me to know. Otherwise, she claims she was willing to let me see any phone bill going forward but I 'didn't ask'.

I was assuming she wasn't volunteering it because she was hiding stuff. She doesn't think occasional communication with OM is wrong so she was willing to show me.

If I ask she will show me going forward I have a feeling. Right now I am kind of glad I don't see it anymore - it is helping me to separate/detatch further.