Not Me...Ever part 2

[Serenity13]

Gardener - Feeling the 2x4's my friend....Thank you for ending the pity party rather quickly

No huh - Such a simple word yet hardly ever uttered from my lips...I am a people pleaser and saying no makes people mad so I try not to do it however I am being stretched way to thin...

I guess no matter how hard I try, I will never understand his way of thinking right now. He acts like a child who isn't given his way. I feel like I have 3 children at the moment - 2 being teenagers.

My strength I questioned up until yesterday when I spoke to one of my ministers at Church - She told me it was there, just by the fact that I still get up and move forward everyday - Our problem is we want it done "now" and don't want to wait on God's time. All it takes is the faith of a mustard seed, she said.

I have been going back over the sermon yesterday and I know she is correct in what she said. I want it fixed now and am being very impatient with God.

I am tired of people questioning why I am still waiting for my H to pull his head out of his butt. I am tired of people using what he has done as an excuse. I am tired of hearing that I am an idiot or a fool or a doormat etc.. for wanting my marriage to still work out even though he is doing whatever it is he does.

It is fine if no one agrees with my decision - However it is my decision and once made, it should be respected and not thrown back in my face on a day to day basis. When it is done like this, I then question myself, my faith and my God.

I think I need to pray for more strength and more patience.