breakaway I would love to hear your take on what would be the action you would take if you were in this position.
I already said what action I would take..I would contact people who could best advise me on what action to take after being an abuser, not people who can advise me further on manipulation and control.
JTJ, your wife might be an absolutely horrible, crazy person, I have no idea, but you already know that YOU are still learning how to behave in a nonabusive noncontrolling manner, and this situation is full of landmines for you.
There are men at the MEVAC site who are more than willing to talk with you by phone, for free, that can help you figure this out. I think they would be well qualified to help you continue to learn how to manage this very very difficult scenario.
My personal opinion would be that "throwing her out" as if it's up to you who lives in the house would seem a mistake. Yes you get to choose who you live with, but that is a joint home, you don't get to decide who lives there. File for divorce or separation if you think you need to do that, but a dramatic forcing out will not make her respect you.
