Not Me...Ever part 2

[Gardener]

((((Serenity)))),

He texted me this morning to let me know he paid a portion of the cell bill (clapping whoopdefriggendo)and also to tell me his phone is broke.

Ignore his texts

He sounds just like my 14 year old son

Yep

- I just want to respond to him and say "What the hell do you want me to do about it?" "Have the homewrecker buy you a new one".

I don't blame you, but don't. Practice these.Write them down. Keep them handy for reciting:
Is that so?
Uh-huh.
That's too bad.
Wow.
I see.
Well, good luck with that
Listen I gotta go finish something I'm in the middle of. Bye

Have I become his parent and missed it somehow?

His mommy? Yes. Have you missed it somehow? No and I don't think you believe you missed it. You've allowed it. Probably for a long time.

C'mon, Serenity, go back to basics. Write these down and keep them at the ready:

I will not return any texts for x hours. Consistently.
I will not respond to some of them at all.
I will not allow myself to be drawn in
I will not validate, empathize or sympathize until he shows some improvement in the maturity department.
I will acknowledge only. (see above)

Everyone wants something from me

Add this to the list above: "No"

You are strong. You are stronger than him. 'the more he tries to pull me in", the more you must not let him succeed. They're ultimately all "mini-battles" albeit there are a lot of them

You can win each one. One at a time. And it will be simple (not easy) and you will get a little better and a little stronger and a little more self-confident with each little victory.

You can do it.

Serenity, I'll bet that among other things that you pray for, you pray for strength. Your prayers are being answered: you are stronger. You've been given strength. Don't just be grateful for it; Use it!