If she's dead set on divorce, you take the kids somewhere. Why should she go?
I've had to be dragged, banging my head on the ground, steps, doors, along the way to the point where my W is. The M is over. Anything to commemorate it or celebrate it is just going to make everything worse.
The other thing is finances. Why waste money on a trip together that she really doesn't want.
A year ago we all went to Disney World. W hadn't dropped the bomb yet, but she was becoming more withdrawn and resentful every day as her depression deepened.
We'd saved for two years for the trip. My girls are 7 and 10. Disney World is a HUGE deal so I would never have canceled. But I felt deep down inside that this probably would be our last "family" trip. W and I had a huge fight the morning we left just because of the stress of having to spend five days together.
If you decide to go on the trip, you and the WAW need to clearly communicate on what your expectations are for the trip. Another example, at our 10 year anniversary, we went to Vegas alone, no kids.
It was her idea and a great one. I hoped it'd be a second honeymoon. She saw it as a chance to relax and get away from kid pressures.
We had S on the last night and it was fine, but I was really disappointed and I carried that around for three years until it came out in one of our fights.
She had no idea. To her, Vegas was a good memory and I ruined it.
So if you go, talk about what you want out of the trip and what she wants out of it.
I want the kids to have this vacation with their Mon and their Dad. I want that!
I'm not too concerned about the financial aspect of the trip. In the grand scheme of things it won't alter anyone's lifestyle.
We all do want to go and my wife and I have discussed the logistics of it. Since we both tend to drink when we are at an all inclusive, we won't share a room so nothing happens that shouldn't happen. We are just going to make the best out of a bad situation.
