I'm still here, in LimboLand. I have done some struggling the past few days. Since seeing my H hit new, intense lows (so incredibly low) a week or two ago, I guess a part of me thought that maybe he might start pulling out that mirror. Maybe he did pull out a little pocket mirror but put it right back where he got it. Some of the things he said/did that made me think he was thinking now seem like a figment of my imagination.
I just don't get it but I am not MLC crazy I guess. I am seeing him backtrack and cycle through some of the crap he has done in the past few months to try to make himself feel better - clothes buying jag, etc. It hasn't worked in the past, so why are we going there again? It is unbelievable to me that he doesn't GET it. And I know, I know, I know . . . this is a looooooooong process. When I saw him cycling through some of this before he did give the impression of being "happy" but now I don't get that from him.
So the jackassery continues.
And I am struggling to refocus and reset my expectations back to zero again. It is so hard. I am still seeing lots of flashes of the "real" H which as I have said before I think makes the crazy seem even crazier - the two just don't go together.
Focus, focus, focus! That is my goal for the week.
I have done some struggling the past few days. Since seeing my H hit new, intense lows (so incredibly low) a week or two ago, I guess a part of me thought that maybe he might start pulling out that mirror. Maybe he did pull out a little pocket mirror but put it right back where he got it. Some of the things he said/did that made me think he was thinking now seem like a figment of my imagination.
