You have gotten some great advice here so far, and you seem to grasp this for now....
There are gonna be things that make your head want to spin all the way around through this.
MLC....IF she is.....IS a test of EVERYTHING that you have inside you .....
What she is going through is not pretty man, and never think that it is on purpose either....There are things in her head that you cannot begin to imagine.
A couple hits though.....
MLC'ers lie......period
MLC'ers project their feelings onto the person closest to them...
MLC'ers...cheat on their spouses....not all, but the majority of the time.
To get through this, you will need to understand that YOU are the only person that you can do anything about....
Don't spend this time that SHE needs pining away waiting for her..
Do for you and your boys....Always
Take care of YOU.....good friend of mine told me last night, If you don't make yourself Number one...You can't be that for your children....
Realize that you can do everything "right" and there is no gaurantee that you will come out the other side with a restored marriage with her....
What WILL happen is that you will realize that YOU will come out the other side of this a better man.
Take the time to understand what you are dealing with , and then do the work for yourself.....Strive to be better everyday....
Don't snoop....the only person you will hurt is you.....
Don't ring any bells that can't be un-rung
Don't put a timeline on this....there is none except hers....
Don't think there is something YOU can do to change this path for her...
You're never gonna talk your way out of something you acted your way into...
Time...Patience...Understanding....and being real...
Those are your friends right now....Your best friends...
Give plenty of space
Do for you
Do for your children
Understand your role right now to get through this....
One day at a time....One hour at a time....and in the beginning?
One minute at a time...
Don't talk to family and friends about this either, you will only hurt you.....
Come here to vent and understand, there is NOTHING you can say that will shock any of us man....
I have always said that I wouldn't wish this onto my worst enemy....at first I meant because of the hurt....Now ?
Because I wouldn't want him to be as good of a man than I ....
What is gained through this , is far more than what is lost.
Think of this as a positive thing, as long as YOU DO THE WORK....
