I am managing to stay a little detached, but it's getting harder and harder. Got back from my trip. W told me she was crying on the phone because she took the kids to see "Where the Wild Things Are" and at the end when Max has to say goodbye to his friend our youngest daughter started wailing and crying out "Daddy, daddy!" Was tragically sad I guess. Strange thing is, she called right afterward to let my daughter talk to me. I'm so glad I was available to take that call. W was fine during that call. Then she called me back a couple hours later after kids were in bed and that's when she broke down and started crying, but wouldn't tell me why.
Before I left on my trip she told me she needs more time. I think that's a total cop out. She said she needs to see if we can stay like this, rather than go back to the way we were. I do understand that, but there won't be any more "we" if she doesn't completely end it with OM.
We just spent the night texting back and forth about the Sunday night game, initiated by her. I am almost positive she will finally take that last step toward me if she feels me going away. Is that what I'm going to have to do? Can't she project ahead just a little bit and see the two possibilities? Why is it so easy for me to feel the tragic loss if our M and family don't make it, and yet she seems so blind to it? Or is she just in denial?
