It's late here, and I am emotionally and mentally exhausted. I just had a 2.5 hour conversation with my W that started when I said I owuld be taking over the bill paying and managing finances. That went from there to other topics I'm too tired to cover right now.
The first big topic was that she thought it was disrespectful for me not to wear my wedding band the last 3 days and that it was disrespectful for me to go out on Friday night on the spur of the moment. I said I didn't take off my wedding band to hurt her. I took it off b/c it was a symbol of our comittment to one another. She said it was a sign I was not available to others. Hmmmm. If she doesn't want me anymore, why would that matter? Or am I reading too much into that?
The majority of the discussion ended up with me talking to her about either Retro and/or MC. I would talk about these programs, then she would respond with all of the resources to help the kids through D. I am talking about saving the M (at the same time I acknowledge I cannot stop her from D) and she is talking about one alternative - D.
Towards the end of the discussion, I may, and I mean a very BIG MAY, have reached her the tiniest bit. She said she was too tired and would be nodding off soon - she did look tired.
One thing I DID see was emotion. She said all of her emotions for me were dead and "never" coming back. But, there were also tears in her eyes. I do believe her that her feelings, or her perception of her feelings, for me ARE dead. It's the "never coming back" part that I have an issue with. I truly believe she believes that. But, it is impossible to say what might (another very BIG might) happen with Retro and/or MC. All I am asking her to do is go. What do we have to lose.
At one point, she said, well if this is what you need, then I'll go. I said that would not work unless she approached it with at least an open mind.
Given this, I have to re-think the card for tomorrow. I have put my wedding band back on. Club me for those two if you think it is warranted. But, she isn't coming back with the ignoring her approach. He!!, she may not (probably won't?) come back anyway.
