What a day what a day. I did 3 guys worth of work today. Unfortunately, I didn't get my stuff done. But I have a job and I'm glad.
Where do I start. I'm glad I found this form. You guys have great advice and observations. At times, you fill in gaps or confirm stuff I have been thinking or lead me to think on other things. Thanks again to all. FV as well!
Johanna. I cut and paste your reply and read it several times during the day at work. It give me a little more piece of mind. It makes sense that she's trying to find her womanhood. In the past, she would be mad because women would always flirt with me. She always wanted someone to flirt with her. When it started, she didn't like it. Go figure. You are right about the burlap sack.
Cori
Yes my young ones are steps. We got away from the step titles a little bit. But as I said earlier, I feel as if I'm their father not matter how many times W says "my kids." I was the one who taught the boy to use a toilet using the Cheerio method(with a tear in my eye). I have the pictures to prove it. I calmed the girl's fear and dried her eyes over the years as well. This among other things I think have earned me the title father. I didn't have the pleasure of creating them or gave birth. But....
Your observation skills are superb. I know she has a problem with the kids and their feeling towards me. She has had issues with the kids. This is one reason she decided to be the on who would work a second job. Over the past year, she has been gone a lot. The kids if lucky would see her 5 or so minutes in the morning for most days in the week. The rest of the time she was sleep. They have come to depend on my. She has said more than once that we "leave her out" and make her feel a stranger in the house. It's hard to include her in conversations that pertain to day to day stuff like who the newest person to call them is and so on. She has once said something to the effect that they think I walk on water and don't care about her. They do call me first when they check in and sometimes don't call their mom. I try to get them to do it every day. She says we all s#$t on her and so one. Recently, her actions are those of someone trying to edge me out. She will make plans for them and not tell me. These plans can include someone coming to pick them up and so on. I think this is a form of punishment towards me. She wants to hurt me and she knows this does. I had to call and check in on the kid today. She didn't call. The girl thinks the only reason she came to get her is so she can take the day off. That's possible. She doesn't have any vacation days and was 30 minutes further away. Her reason as presented to the girl was she didn't want me to HAVE to use another day. The kids did stick up for me the other day. They wanted to know why I couldn't come to the party and were mad at her. She just said they're my friends. Another punishment I reckon. What does all the above mean? It means I think you're right on the money. Thanks. Knowing why this is being done helps with the sting.
Honey.
You and Jo's replies make a lot of sense. Before she bought the frillie, she was a neat person. She would put her dirty cloths in a hamper. As quick as she bought the nice underwear, she would just toss them on the bathroom floor or in a pile in the room. I now wonder if those were/are there for my benefit.
She may be afraid to show me her true colors right now. What she is showing is a strong determined woman. But I see the fear behind her facade. I see the balled up crying tissues in the garage and elsewhere. I see when her cheeks are red from crying. In thinking in the past through the haze of my former world, she would do sexual stuff right out of the blue. She would come out in her red stuff. In case you haven't figured it out, I have a fetish for red shoes and red outfits and white stockings. I don't know why. On our first date, that's exactly what she wore although it was past Labor Day. I wondering if I should just jump in like a swimming pool are ease my way into showing my appreciation for her sexuality. I hope I have enough to show her that I accept and want her sexiness.
We'll see what happens. I'll try to stay up for her tonight and see what happens.
Thanks Guys.
p.s. I'm over the lack of a phone call. It's done and the girl is ok. So I'm ok too.
