You are doing very well... understand, things are not going to make any sense for a long time to come. I'm sure you all were becoming comfortable with being back together, and her call, it was just an excuse to be out of the house.
Do not take anything she says personally.... you can only believe about half of what she says, think of her as being 16-18 all over again... She's using you as a parental figure, and unfortunately, she's not going to tell you exactly what she is up to, nor is she going to include you in her plans. I'm sorry, it's just the way it is, and it has NOTHING to do with you at all, it's just the nature of the beast.
Okay, that spending a month or so ago, it's was JUST the tip of the iceburge! It's a warning Bub, time to put things in check, trust me, I didn't do it, and have kicked myself for the past 7 years, because I'm still not out of the debt he created... and he was able to afford to go bankrupt, and I couldn't.... it's not easy swimming with the sharks.... and there's no room for nice people like you.... start cutting her off.... allow her own credit cards, but get your name off, keep your cards close to you.... start a separate account, put the base of your monies in there, allow her access to the account you have opened now, but for the sake of the kids, start putting money back NOW!
There are people who have spent thousands on watches, or dinner and hotels with the OW/OM and clothing.... Yikes! Your kids will do better with the money, and let's face it, you've worked hard for it.
Regardless of what you do, and you could be Prince Charming, white steed and all, she is going to blame YOU for everything in her life..... you are going to find that what used to please her, will now make her angry.... she will eat different, she will dress different, she will make more new friends, and do things that you thought she would never do.....
I know she is your heart and soul, and everytime she walks out that door, she crushes your heart where you feel it all the way to the pit of your stomach.... it's why we have to learn to let go, and focus on what we do have in our lives, like you and those great boys you have.
It's going to take every ounce of you to make it through this... there will be good days, and days that you wonder what you've done to deserve this.... and on those days, you'll just have to remember how to put one foot in front of the other, the boys need you to function.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
