I also wanted to add that I went thru a similar phase with the frillies and I do not so much as flirt with another man. Not to say that your W is completely innocent (only she knows that) but just to reassure you that there most certainly ARE other explanations and you should stay calm.
I know that when I started confronting my H about this problem, I decided that I would start wearing frillies again. I realized that I had given that stuff up because I did not get a reaction from him. I had allowed him and his feelings to dictate what I wore. In other words, I was not being true to myself at all. I am, by nature, a very sexual person. I should be that person regardless of how he reacts but that's not what I did. When he stopped caring, I turned the sting of that non-reaction inward and stopped wearing the frillies. At some point I realized that I want to be that sexy person again, she is who I am , and he can react however the h*ll he wants to.
I liken it to if a husband hates meatloaf and the wife, early on in the marriage, stops cooking it. At some point a lightbulb goes off and she says, ya know what I like meatloaf! Why don't I cook it?!
Another thing is that she is slowly showing you who she IS. She is afraid of showing you her true colors because she has been rejected in the past, for doing just that. She wants to be able to trust that you will accept and embrace that sexiness is an integral part of her personality. I know you will do just that.
Keep it up and try not to let the bad days get you too down. Stay calm and cheerful and, of course, concerned about the sick little one, and I hope you have a good evening.
