I agree with everyone here. No card. "Thanks" and don't open it. Don't be home when she is. Go dark as much as possible. It's working for me (this week) and it feels good.
Listen, this summer, when my H left, I had gotten to the point where I not only accepted that my H left, but felt I didn't want him, like there were "better guys out there " in my imaginary world.
Guess what. When H finally said, ok, fine, I'm getting ready for a D too, it scared the hell out of me. Just like the DB philosophy predicts. It became REAL and suddenly I wanted to work it out. I've been trying ever since. (3months now)
What I'm saying is - believe people when they say if you make it REAL for her that you ARE GONE, instead of her reacting to the fact that you want to stay with her, it may feel like a completely different story then.
If not, you will move on and gain your power back.
So stop doing stuff for her! And make her get a job and pay some bills for goodness sake.
