Thank you so very much for chiming in! I do see I need to step back. It also has been dictated by her for the past 6 months, so either it turns to equal time, or it has to end.
I guess I'm not looking forward to ending it b/c I don't want to go back and date anyone else. I'm sure that feeling will pass in time, but for now, I'm really into GF. However, knowing that, my current state won't help things at all, but only make them worse. So, the solution is to do my own thing and not let her know in any way that I'm missing her.
She does need to initiate contact w/me and I'll let that happen.
She did text me yesterday but it was because she was unhappy w/me. I'll explain. Last week I spoke w/her mother and mentioned she was a bit down and to keep an eye on her. Her mother then told me her stomach issues were acting up again and causing her tremendous pain. I said to her mom that maybe she (the mom) could convince her to go to the doctor b/c I couldn't...and that was that.
Yesterday, after talking to her mom, GF was upset b/c her mom said she sounded depressed and needed to go see someone. GF said "how would she know that if I only confided in you?"
Well, I honestly didn't think I was breaking her confidence b/c I was in full-blown "protector" mode and trying to smooth the upcoming path for GF to reduce her stress.
I know. I know. I overstepped my bounds and I can clearly see it now as it is not only not my issue to solve, but it is a bit controlling. I had good intentions, but I didn't think things through.
So, now, GF says she's not happy at all b/c she speaks to me w/complete confidence and I'm bummed that I let her down and broke that trust w/out meaning to do so.
I apologized, explained my intentions and told her that although I'll make mistakes, I will learn from them as I try to work on our R and learn about the dynamics of it.
I understand where I went wrong and I'm not too pleased at myself b/c of it. But, I've apologized, shown remorse, listened to her concerns, validated them, and will use them to get better. I'm not going to contact her again and this issue won't come up again by me. I'll leave it alone and in her hands.
My trying to do to much and do things that I can't control is an old, ingrained habit that I repeated. I explained that and really can't do anything else.
As Gypsy said, I don't want to hover, and I won't. I'll stay completely away and only contacted her after she contacted me. To my credit, not only did I tell the truth, but I took responsibility for my actions. Even though I let her down, I learned something that can and will make me better...either for her or for whomever else is next in my life.
So, I'm backing way off, but I still miss the routine we had established. I still miss her and our conversations. I won't hover, but I will miss her.
If she's still in my thoughts, does that mean I'm hovering over her? Or would I only be hovering if I'm contacting her constantly and not giving her space? If you could clarify that, I'd appreciate it.
Thanks to all my friends. This site is a life line and a place to grow, learn and heal. I stumbled on it by chance and I'm glad I'm here now. Thank you all. I continually look forward to your posts.
