Today is a down day for ole Blackrook. Nothing major happened. W got home after I laid down for the night. She seemed to have a little 'tude this morning. I think I'll start staying up for her. Conversation limited this morning to the garage light is burned out. It's hard to be romantic with 20 minutes of rushed time a day.

I'm in a little funk also because of my own mind. Sometimes I feel as if W is having an affair. I don't know if it's emotional or physical. There are a few common signs such as a drastic change in underwear. She's moved to nice fancy frilly drawers. They look nice. I read and heard on the radio this is a sign. I could understand why she would. She said that she had considered one a couple months ago. The last time we did something, her physical status didn't indicate intercourse but she did have me do things a different way. My mind is getting the best of me. I have to admit, I did some spying I set up most of our bills online. I....looked at her cell phone calls. No pattern there. Just repeated calls to the same few numbers. I don't want to ruin my progress with this. As a friend here said, don't beat yourself up. Well, this is just a way to put my thoughts in writing today and get them out of my mind.