Bomb dropped July 22.09. M-46, WAS-37, S12, S10, D7. I made all of the classic mistakes for the first three days crying, pleading and begging. I've made several mistakes since then including repeated conversations about R. She has consistently said there is no turning back. She's given her all to the relationship and she's done. She retained attorney in early August and we're proceeding to a 4 way meeting this week. She has commented favourably on the changes I've made and has inquired as to why I didn't do this when we were together. Nevertheless, she has remained very, very angry (says I was selfish, drank too much etc). She acknowledges that the anger arises from her hurt. As part of the detachment process I have gone out on dates. WAS found out about this very recently (I believe she got ahold of my telephone and saw some text messages) and became very angry. She was more upset when I told her (thinking it would help me) that I had declined a PA about a year ago. She was extremely upset that I had been speaking with this other woman about our relationship. She woke me up in the middle of the night the other day and repeatedly expressed how angry and upset she was hearing this. Since then she has been very cool. She now seems determined to say things that she believes will hurt me (ie. "I'm taking the kids for Christmas whether you like it or now" and "I'm going to meet someone (other M) at this wedding (her cousin has a wedding and she's going alone) in my new dress"). I know Coach has said that anger is good, but have I done irreparable damage by her learning of the almost affair and the fact i've been on dates? Shall I stop dating or is this an acceptable part of the detachment process?
