W seems to be hanging onto to some advice/ feedback from a psychic that love should not hurt and that somehow her current situation is holding her back from realizing her true potential, and that I am not her "soul mate". How do I possibly compete with that kind of fantasy?
You don't. You can't. Keep working on you for you and your kids.
If she brings up old history, you might say, "I cannot fix the past. None of us can. So I have forgiven myself for it. Perhaps you might consider doing the same someday. Right now, all I have is today and from today forward. That is my sole focus."
Or you might state it as a boundaryL "when you bring up the past, I feel disrespected since the past is unfixable and unchangeable and serves no purpose other than to pain me. I am not the former me. If you bring him up again, I will simply walk away from the discussion rather than stay and endure unnecessary and unproductive ridicule"
I know, I know, it's too long. Shorten it, sd, or let's hope someone better comes along who will.
Good luck.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
