I really agree with RobX. Shortly after my H dropped the bomb he started going out every night and staying out until all hours which he NEVER did during the week prior to the bomb.
Eventually I told him our home was not a hotel for him to sleep and shower at for him to come and go as he pleases and sidestep all responsibility he had here. He told me he was going out so much to give me space from the bomb (read: he was filled with guilt and couldnt even stand to look at the pain he caused me) but somehow turned it around as if he was doing me a favor.
If you do request she move out though be fully prepared for it to happen. Dont use it as a threat tactic. Once my H moved out he never looked back (he was having an affair) but would stop by once in a while when he was bored enough or had some time before he had to meet his GF. I nipped that in the bud ASAP. As long as he was having an affair, using OUR funds to treat his GF and using OUR car to date he was not welcome in MY home. If he needed to pick something up he was told to wait outside and I would come out for him. He was not allowed to call here unless he arranged it ahead of time with me and I pretty much regulated him to e-mail only.
This all began in March of 2008. We sign our final official legal separation papers this week and as of Nov. 1 we will be legally separated. Funny, nearly 21 months later (and his affair is still ongoing but filled w/drama and constant problems as per what he told me) NOW he wants to keep the door open and have us get to know one another again.
He had that option for close to 2 years. I will NEVER be anybodys fall back option. And you shouldnt either.
I am in no way suggesting you be ugly or unkind about it but be firm. The WAS for some odd reason feels its okay to have the single life and the married life when it suits them and the LBS should just tolerate it. No.
