Update. Hate to be a downer but I want to put my feelings into writing without putting a burden on friends IRL.
Blackrook did a bad thing. While looking for Halloween stuff. BR found another of his picture boxes. I have saved every card my W has given me for the past 10 years. From our first Christmas to our 6 year courtship to our marriage 2 years ago.
I bumped across the ghosts of Halloween past. To see my baby in her Hershey Kiss outfit, her Fruit Of The Loom costume the very first year I met her brought out sad feelings. I was reading her cards again. In them, she said she would love me no matter what. We can handle anything together. Why would she write that s@#t and not mean it. How dare she play with me like that???
Right now I hate her with tears in my eyes wanting her to come through the door and say let's start over. I love her while I hate her. If this is what she's going through, then maybe I have a better chance than I thought to set things right.
She told me once I broke my vows to her. "to love and to cherish." God knows I didn't do this all the time. I did break my vows to her and I feel awful for this. But she's wants to break her vow by getting a D.
Right now, I'm so low. The upside there's nowhere else to go but up.
I think I need to just go out and watch planes land or something. I'm....
How dare she play with me like that???
