She is welcome to leave, let her know that, you're not holding her back anymore.
Tell her it's time to talk with the kids as well.
Have a plan about this.
Show her that you're prepared.
Have a list of items ready to discuss with the kids:
1. Mom & Dad are splitting up 2. Although we're not together anymore it doesn't mean that we don't love you any less. 3. None of this is your fault. 4. You will be living with me half the time, and with mom half the time. 5. We will coordinate times you will be with us. 6. You can talk to us anytime you have problems with any of this, we're here to talk to you at any time. 7. The schedule will be this, ie. Monday to Sunday you're with me, the next week you're with Mom. 1 week and 1 weekend each, that way we both have equal time with you.
When she starts asking where you got the idea of the time shared, (ie. 1 week & 1 weekend each), you tell her that the idea was given to you from your lawyer, it's what people do when they share custody of their children and you're NOT going to settle for every other weekend so she can wake up from her fantasy dream and join the rest of the world in reality.
No more living in fruitopia (utopia), join us on planet earth.
It's only when you start showing your spouse that your serious about all of this, ie. lawyer talk, shared custody, her moving out, etc. is when they start realizing that their original plans aren't going to work out as they imagined.
You don't have to agree with her plans, don't give her the satisfaction of that.
You can be a man, you can stand up for yourself and your children.
She can leave, ask her also if she needs help packing up things and smile when you say it.
Tell her not to worry about packing up the kid's things, there possessions will stay with you in your current home, she can pack whatever clothes she needs for them at her new place.
That's how you take back your power, that's how you show you're standing up for yourself - this is what wakes up WAS's.
