Have you asked about Retro? Maybe you say to her, "I know I can't tell you what to do and I'm not going to fight you on this (D), but I feel like it would be a shame if we didn't try EVERYTHING possible before we make a decision that will affect ourselves and our kids for the rest of our lives. Would you consider spending ONE weekend with me at Retro, just to make sure we've exhausted all possibilities"? Or something like that.
I have not asked about retro, but I have had this identical conversation with her about MC. Her response is no way, no how. She "will not go to any C that involves anything to do with saving the M."
Quote:
I too took my ring off at one point. She was in her A, wouldn't quit and I was pretty much done. After the A ended and she said she would stay until S17 graduated, I put it back on, both as a sign to her and myself that I was in this marriage until it was over. That's a very personal thing, the rings, that only you can decide for yourself.
But like Puppy says, don't take it off and put it back on every other day. Make a decision and stick with it.
I have worn my wedding ring all the way up through Friday. Friday, I took it off. This is not to hurt her or be childish. I will not put it back on until she indicates she wants to work on our M. Until then, we are M'd, but we are not in a MR. I do not intend to cheat or break my vows. I never have and I'm not going to start now. But, I will not feel like a hypocrite for wearing it nor will I have it on my hand to be a constant reminder of her "devotion" to me. When she wants to be devoted, I will put it back on.
I really do appreciate your input. I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I am NOT a quitter, but I am also not going to beat my head against a brick wall again and again.
If we end up D'd, which appears very likely, I will never understand why she chose that path. So much pain for the children that she's completely discounting (I know that's part of the WAS issue).
