Your desire to get it back is totally normal; I was there too. I will simply say that like others here, I grew more at peace when I realized that there were things I could not change, and that simply wishing them to be different would not make them so. Oh, how we wish....
Yet there is one thing you can change--you. What are the lessons about yourself that you can learn from this process? Those will unfold over time if you have the patience and courage to take a good long look at yourself. What is in you waiting to be born? What do you have to do to give birth to it? You may lose your marriage, but you do not have to lose your life. It is bigger than your marriage.
Work on tranforming yourself, and to get through the rough days read Michelle's work. You might also try Susan Anderson's strategies for how to cope with abandonment in a healthy way.
