Yeah SC I see what you are saying. I kinda feel like he wants me to be his crutch at this point, and that scares me. Just like og has been his crutch this whole time. I keep telling him he needs to focus on him and work on himself, and he keeps saying he is.
Well, it was another fun filled family day at the soccer tournament today. I really am unsure what is going on here. Exh was there, polite as ever, playing with the kids and having a good time. We took them to lunch, and took his car since he was close and I was way out in the second parking lot. He handed me they keys to drive, just like old times (I hate his driving and would always drive.)
So, we took the kids to mcdonalds (of course), ate, talked, and it was fine. His dad showed up there cuz he was coming to watch the second tourney game, and we all talked and watched the kids play. His dad was ragging on me acting silly and exh told him not to make me mad cuz we have gotten along for two weeks now... We all got a laugh out of that. It sounded really funny. He loaned me the Shinedown c/d that he had in his car that I liked so I can put it on my computer. We will be out there all day tomorrow too.
He sent me this long text tonight about how this was the best day that he's had in almost a year and how it felt so good to spend the day like a "family" (his words), and how much he misses us. Said he knows he's told me a million times how sorry he is (which he has but didn't make any real changes) and that he loves me and hopes that I can see that he really means it someday.
I'm just kinda sitting here watching this. I'm not quite sure how he can act so "normal" all of the sudden.... It really baffles me. I mean, I have not doubted that he has, in his own mind, in his own messed up way, "loved" me all this time. I guess I'm just gonna sit and watch this play out. I don't want anybody getting hurt anymore, me or him or the kids. Add this to the "who the hell knows" file.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
