Am I at this stage?

[TrentC]

Until he is willing to reconcile (and says so!), you are not. You're not even living in the same house right now.

At this point, he's getting the best of both worlds. He got to sleep with you and then blow you off for a day. You let your guard down, and he took advantage of it.

Until he moves back in full-time, he should get no make-out sessions, no backrubs, and especially no sex!

There's a good boundary for you to set:

"I know that you have a lot that you're thinking about right now [validating his feelings] but the kids and I need to have some stability in our lives. So until you decide to move back in full-time, I don't feel it's a good idea for us to be romantic."