You are so right. I do try not to have the R talk with H but when something crops up and it seems like an ideal moment, it all comes pouring forth. It's rare that I spend time on a weekend with anyone at all and, during the week I am unable to discuss my sitch with anyone as the girls at work do not yet know about it.
Yesterday felt so warm and safe, H working here with me as we always did. H gave it everything in the garden, which told me more than anything so far - he also said "if I didn't care, I wouldn't be here, would I?" ..... that gave me hope, hope made me speak my mind and in doing that, I shot myself in the foot.
My H always encouraged me to talk openly and honestly about my feelings. I never did. I bottled things and would then explode. Now that I am revealing more about the way I feel, he just kicks in to runaway faster mode. It's so frustrating.
I don't know how people even look toward the future. I just know that I don't want a future without my H. I hope that it never becomes my reality. He says that he misses me less as time goes on ... I just don't know how to turn that around.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
