Long Journey .......... advice please

[Sanderika]

Cas,

For your H, by you pushing forward with a proposal it places the blame on you and removes the guilt from H.

Remember part of a MLC is to place blame on everyone else, deserving or not, which in turn gives the MLC'r a false sense of being right and justified in their decision. The MLC'r lives with enormous guilt which I believe prevents a lot of them from filing and thus reaching the ultimate end of the relationship/marriage.

If we take on the burden for them they can continue to blame us for the demise of the relationship which eliminates their guilt.

The MLC'r is constantly looking for a way out, a scapegoat. A MLC'r wants everyone to think he is the greatest guy in the world. He lives a delusional lifestyle in which the real world sees right through.

I still say if H wants it, force him to do all the work without your help. Use your solicitor only to protect your financial future and rights.

This is hard Cas, I know. We have a D pending in our courts. I do think for some of us the longer the separation continues the harder it is for a reconciliation. We have both said it. They are just not the same guys anymore.

I am ready to end mine, I gain more peace everyday with the choice. It will be ok. You and I will be ok.

Our H's are too wishy-washy with attention. I am starting to read the actions and throw out the words. It's called acceptance. It's been a long time coming. It's time.....

I hate to throw in the towel, I am stubborn and I fight for what I believe to be right. However, in this time and place I think it's probably time to drop the rope for once and for all.

(((((Cas))))) I'm right here riding in the same boat with you. I understand......is what I am saying.

Please take care, my friend.....

Sanderika