Slept with XH, help!!

[Augtan]

I appreciate no one going off on me..cause all I keep hearing is that it is about you and only you and not trying to work on your R with S. I have written several times that I get you have to work on you and make real changes. I am working on that day by day. I really don't at all feel like a boat in his ocean, his ocean is 700 miles away, I have no idea 98% of the time what he is doing or where he is, so I am not ruled by his emotions. I just wanted to vent here about that specific topic since I am not suppose to tell friends and family. I was just sharing what I did know and hear about in reference to XH, it is far and few between and that is fine with me. I am super busy with three kids, raising them alone, working full-time, etc.

I haven't talked, e-mailed, IM'd or texted with XH in days! Normally we IM at least 1 or 2 times over a few days, and that hasn't happened at all. I am very glad about that, casue when i see him sign-on it is hard not to say a word to him. I have a feeling things are not good with OW, but who knows, and I will never ask!! He knows I GAL, he was here and saw me. He also thinks many other things...such as I am dating someone, talking to my HS boyfriend, and talking to his nephew (he is older than me, and divorced too). Only a couple of those are true, and none of his business either way. He snoops about it on his own, I have never denied or led him to believe any of them are true or not. So, I am just sitting back, living my life and freezing my butt off...I am wishing I never left Georgia!! But, OW would not still be breathing if I was there, let's just say I would have been an episode of "Snapped" forsure. I have come a long, long way!!
Me-39
XH-42
M- 17 1/2 yrs, T-21
D-16, S-14, D-10
MLC- started 10/06
OW discovered-7/07
seperated-9/07
back together- 12/07
moves out again-7/08
D final-5/09
find out he was with OW the whole time btwn 1/08 to now -9/09