Sanderika, I'm not sure ow has anything to do with it. I think H is very much in control in the ow situation but she is still around because she is an employee, it's convenient and she's obviously not too demanding. It's like the kids are taking over her place with him.
However, I think you're right, he's torn. He's torn because he still has feelings for me but we have been separated at his initiation for two years and his pride is standing in the way here. Not only that, he's been hurt before and he can't afford to let that happen again. So in his mind, he determines that he needs to push things through.
H has been on a long quest for personal happiness; buying expensive toys, expensive outings, holidays and overseas trips, having ow, leaving Cas and the kids and ignoring them, stop working, start new study, selling our business, buying a new house.... all things to make him happy and financial separation is the next attempt at sorting everything for his happiness.
There's been phases along the way gradually building to the one we are in. H is spending more and more time with his kids. He's communicating more fully with me and eventhough he's trying to separate from me financially he's not having the usual temper tantrum to get his own way. However, he wants me to initiate and I don't know why this is so important to him. I am in a no win then. He's much more financially literate than me. I have a solicitor. He has her details. He just threatens to proceed via her but does nothing. Of course, eventually he will. And he thinks this will make him happy.
We had a few texts last night and again they were friendly. I'm not changing anything. I do like what you said about the financial stuff causing arguments. It is an elephant sitting in the room for us. It has to be resolved. it is the way forward. It's just not me proposing it!
I have decided to press for the solicitor but to reamin friendly and upbeat and show him I am not fazed by this new stage.
