A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Thanks, everyone.

Here's how the sitch is playing down so far.

H and I were working on house reorganization projects together today, and he called his aunt to see if she wanted a particular dining table. It became immediately apparent that Aunt was out for breakfast with MIL, FIL, SIL and baby. We knew MIL and FIL were going to be in town this week, but we'd not been told they had arrived, and, obviously, none of us were invited to breakfast.

We let it lie and went back to our projects.

Later in the day, H got a call from his sister. The phone got passed around, eventually to MIL who wanted just H and kidlet to come spend the day at the fairgounds with them. (There's a Halloween festival going on.)

H asked kidlet and kidlet wanted to go.

Dia: Go and have a good time with your family. I'm not angry with your mother. I understand how she feels. I think the intensity of it is way over the top, but I get it. And she has the right to choose with whom she associates.

H: Thank you for being so generous. If kidlet didn't want to go, I wouldn't be going. Hopefully we won't have to put up with the bullsh*t for very long.

Dia: Hmm, thank you. It's good to know that's what you think it is.

H: Yes, it's bull----. I love my mother, but I also love Andra. Both of these creatures hurt people. (Andra is our pissy, alpha female, Siamese divatude cat.)

Dia: <nods> Thank you. If kidlet asks why I'm not going, you need to be the one to tell him. If I do it, I'll be accused of poisoning him against Gramma H.

H: I doubt he'll ask, but that's reasonable.

Dia: One more thing please. Don't lie. No "Mom wanted to stay home." (I am not the one misbehaving, and I'm not going to let myself be used as a cover story for her BS.)

He looked surprised, but like he hadn't thought it through that far, not like he'd been planning to lie and was caught.

H: That's a reasonable concern. I will tell him that Gramma H only wanted him and me.

H thinks that I will be invited (if not precisely welcome) for the holidays, but if not, he'll deal with it then.

His mother said she wanted the table, and I packed up some of kidlet's old blocks to be given to SIL's baby, including a note to SIL. Kidlet will have a good time at the festival, and he's been missing Gramma H, so he'll enjoy some time with her, too.

And H confirmed that yes, his giblets are intact and still in his possession.