Thanks, BJ. I completely agree. I will assume he's trying to butter me up until further notice. It's hard to fight the urge to get hopeful, but I've been burned too many times.
I also will not talk about this stuff alone any more. It just gets heated. If he will go to therapy, we can talk, otherwise, the lawyers can handle. I'm really going to be firm from now on.
I feel like I'm finally living life for me, not in terror of his constant criticism. Now I have to keep it up.
No, the play is not Shakespear - I do a lot of independent theatre in San Francisco. I got cast for the first time with a company that I've been interested in working with for a while now. A bunch of my friends have worked with them. I was invited by the director to audition, so I knew they were interested in me as well.
I almost cancelled my audition because this was the night my H threatened to fight a bigger divorce and I left and spent the night at my friend's. I was depressed. My mother said if the theatre company had invited and was expecting me, I should go and I'd feel better. I had no expectations of getting cast, but I did immediately. It did wonders for my self esteem. It was great to connect with friends I hadn't seen in a while. That boosted my sense of independence. It was a serious GAL move.
And it was the next day my H called offering to go to therapy and owning up to his part in things a bit.
I'm smart enough to know he's come around before only to end up more abusive later = so I'm still keeping distance and waiting and watching. Meanwhile, have a great day planned with my S and a friend today to work in the garden.
