I have no way of finding out the nature of her relationships/ interactions. She has locked down her communications. The only thing I can do is confront her in MC, but that does not seem to get us anywhere as she can simply lie (or tell the truth), I have no way of verifying. So what do I do to determine if I am wasting my time "working on things"? I have dropped 15 pounds, I am focusing on myself and the kids, but we still live together and the MC is telling us to try to be cordial so we can establish some kind of baseline communication channel that will allow us to address our deeper issues. The hug comment was for this board, not for her. I have been focused on being happy, kind from a distance, and taking care of my kids. I think trying to make her jealous at this point will not create any mystery....it will only piss her off and make her withdraw further, which at this point will probably not get me closer to my goals. I have read Sandi's list and I will try following that. She is otherwise trying, though it is hard to read as she is pretty closed off in terms of exploring/ revealing her inner life. I honestly think she is confused and in a lot of pain herself, and I do not want to make myself the enemy. It is hard to know the best thing to do, but there are a whole bunch of things I need to do regardless of whether we stay together or move apart - I will focus on those things and keep remembering that I cannot control her. Thanks for the response dburt.
