Now, if a mother of two, with no job, a house she can neither afford nor sell, refuses to work on a M with her H of nearly 13 years (will NOT go to MC cuz she's "done"),.....She has to face the reality of what will be. I will NOT save her from that. She is free to make a choice. But each choice has those little burdensome consequences with it.
One other thing to consider.....Is it possible that with the reduction in home values YOU would be able to buy your home? That may be a consequence that your W hadn't considered. In my sitch, H dropped the bomb a few days before the collapse in the markets last fall. We had a prenup and he forced a home appraisal, thinking that with the reduced home value he would be able to buy the home or force a sale. He didn't know about my job offer so he didn't even consider that I would be in a position to buy the home. But the 20% drop in value of the home allowed ME to qualify for financing. I would NOT have been able to buy the home if it had been appraised at its pre-recession value. So I turned the tables on H. MIght you be able to do the same with your W? If your home is appraised at a lower value is it possible that YOU would be able to buy out your W's share? Is it possible that giving the appearance of checking into this might make your W think about the consequences of her actions in more real terms?
I am only putting these questions out there for your consideration and not advising any particular course of action. My sense from the boards and my H is that MLC type walk aways don't respond to these types of events the way a non-depressed person would. I kept thinking at each step along the path that something would wake my H up (i.e. the meeting in the courtroom with the judge, negotiating the terms of the D decree, signing the D decree, being dumped in a 3 page e-mail by the first woman he had a relationship with after the separation) but nothing has motivated him to look inside himself to my knowledge.
