there are a lot of depression factors present - W's grandmother was bipolar and on anti-dep's for decades (we often talked about her g'mother's problems), early menopause, financial loss (I owned my own business until late 2008/early 2009 that caused us to accrue debt) from which we WILL recover, possible MLC, job loss for W and, of course, the break up of our M.
That certainly sounds like enough emotional upheaval to send most people into a tailspin. Do you think your W perceives that she is having difficulty with her menopausal symptoms (i.e. mood swings, hot flashes, night sweats, etc)? Is she being treated for these symptoms? Even if your W schedules a physical and an IC, the tricky part is finding someone who actually has the expertise and integrity to do more than just a cursory history and exam. Probably the best way to find someone like this is a referral from a trusted friend or colleague who had similar issues.
It is possible that your W misunderstood what the IC was advising re: your M. My H went to a psychologist (recommended by a psychologist friend of mine) for 1 session 2 years before the bomb. He told me later that the psychologist said that I wasn't being a very good W to him. I work very closely with psychologists in our clinic and I REALLY don't think a psychologist would say that to a client at the first appointment. I think the psychologist was just using the reflection technique (repeating back to the patient what he said) and my H misunderstood. Of course I couldn't say this to him. H took it to be validation.
Do you and your W have any mutual friends whom she trusts? In successful sitches I have seen on this board mutual friends can play an important role in influencing the walk away. Why don't you contact one of the WAWs who post on this board and ask them this question? "sandi2" is one whom I've seen actively post.
If you are interested, I would recommend a CD set called "Change Your Hormones Change Your Brain" from www.AmenClinics.com. Daniel Amen is a psychiatrist who does brain imaging studies. The material in the CDs is presented in language that a lay person can undertstand. I have a doctorate in neuroscience and I found his information to be consistent with current research in the field.
